S. John’s Sobriety Story

Welcome back everyone! Today, I’m going to be sharing with you all a very wonderfully heart touching sobriety story.

“I started getting prescribed Xanax at 14, although it was always taken as prescribed, I suppose I gave myself the excuse that it was alright to put other things in my body as well, cause what’s the difference? It started with drinking on long weekends so I could recover before having to go back to high school and working a full time job. I gave up dancing cause I wanted to get high with my friends instead. My next adventure would be Meth, my first time I fell in LOVE! I wasn’t hungry anymore(battled with a severe case of food restriction and body dismorphia). I could stay up longer to study and I felt so much smarter. It was just once in awhile, until it was everyday, then several times a day, as well as mixing other substances all at once.
At 19 I quit everything but weed, and sometimes at parties I would drink, then at 23 I found out I was pregnant with my son, I still smoked weed, my doctor was okay with it, but I gained A LOT of weight with him and was very down on myself. When he was 6 months old I went back to school, and also went back to my drug using, so I could lose weight and study, well after I finished school, I still continued to use and hid it, this continued for the next 6 years non stop. So bad that I didn’t even tell the man I married. In 2013 I became pregnant with my daughter, and at that point I was using and drinking daily, even my Xanax, and I tried to quit quietly, but I started having seizures and the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong, I kept this secret inside for the entire pregnancy, early into my 8th month when doctors found out I had preeclampsia and my daughter was born 5 wks and 6 days early. I had used that morning, needless to say they tested me and I was positive but my daughter wasn’t, so I was allowed to take her home.
Six weeks later child protective services came to my home asking a lot of questions, I was still trying to hide this huge lie so I denied everything. The judge ordered me to out patient drug treatment, which I subsequently was kicked out of for too many positive tests. The jig was up, I had to come clean to everyone that I was in fact a drug addict. On Oct 21 2014 my social worker came to my home with two officers and a warrant for me to leave the home and I could only see my children 14 hrs a week with supervision, and I was ordered to in patient Rehab, after one failed attempt early in 2015. On May 28th 2015 I checked myself back into a rehab and I never looked back.
I just hit 2 years clean and I’m currently almost 1 year 100% prescription and illicit drug and alcohol free. After 16 years of numbing myself I was finally made to deal with all the feelings I had pushed down and locked away and it was the scariest but most rewarding experience of my life. I get to teach my children that in life you will sometimes make choices you regret later but that doesn’t define the person you are deep down inside. Only you define who that person is, and you can do and be whatever you want in this life, and today I choose to a sober mom, wife, daughter, sister, best friend and bossbabe. If I can do it I know anyone can.”
My heart smiles every single time I read that.
I believe wholeheartedly that no matter the amount of time you’ve been using, if you have the mind to quit, you can do it!! If you’re struggling with your addiction, don’t be scared, there are so many people who would do anything to lead you in the right direction.
Standing up to the demons inside of you is the hardest part of staying clean. Drugs make us vulnerable and the only way to fight is to start fighting back! You are NOT alone! If you’re struggling with your addiction and don’t even know where to begin to quit using, head over to the contact page and send me a message, I promise I will respond.
I hope you all have a wonderful day, thank you for stopping in to read my blog ♥ God Bless all of you!
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