It’s important to remember that every day doesn’t have to be crazy.
You don’t have to think about this every second of every day.
That won’t help, it’ll more than likely just make you want your DOC more.
So in this, I want to let you know it’s absolutely okay to feel good.
In fact, it’s good to feel anything at all. I know for me, it was a struggle for me just to feel at all. It was about 5 or 6 months before I really knew what I was feeling for sure. My emotions were so out of wack, I couldn’t tell a happy time from a sad time. I had the general idea, but the drugs had numbed me so badly that I didn’t know how I really felt, I only knew what I should’ve felt.
Anyways, back on topic.
There are good days, and bad days. Your good days will seem like your highs where you start to think things are getting back to normal, and your bad days will feel like your lows where you’re scavenging for anything to help you back up.
Don’t take your good days for granted. Really revel in those awesome moments of clarity and sobriety. They’re going to be most of what you need to get through the bad days. Don’t think about how bad the day was, think about how good the day before was. Think about how happy you were and the more you think about the good, the more you’ll want to continue to feel like that. There’s always a better tomorrow waiting on the other side.
Let me ask you a question…
If you knew that a year, two years, five years, even ten years down the road you’d look back and laugh… would you feel as depressed right now about it? Probably. It’s hard to see the bigger picture especially when you’re using. But I want you to read this very carefully.
It. Gets. Better.
It always gets better. Every day it will get better. Each day you go without is another day you push forward. Another day that you get to cry out with joy that you are SOBER! Don’t punish yourself anymore. Whatever you were trying to escape, whatever your reason was for starting in the first place, kick that shit to the CURB! Excuses won’t fly anymore. Not as far as you’ve come now. If you’re actively seeking help, you obviously don’t want to continue to use. You’ve taken the first step. Accepting that you have a problem.
I’m not going into the 12 step stuff today, that’ll come later.
I suppose my point is with all this rambling I do would be that when everything looks meek, when it seems like nobody is there, stop looking. If they aren’t here now, you don’t want them here later. I promise. Don’t believe me? Check out my other post about Fair Weather Friends.
When someone is there for you through the roughest parts of your fight to sobriety, they’re the ones who actually care. Not ones who join in months or even years later that never talked to you while you were begging for support. And don’t play yourself, you better be begging people for support at this point. You need everyone you can get. They’re all important. And those who actually want to stick by your side will be there for you through the whole thing. Even if it’s sporadic. Remember, even the most loyal of friends and family have lives too. To expect them to drop everything just to help you is selfish.
You will have to go through some of this alone. Don’t freak out. It’s going to be okay. The best thing they can do is allow you to help yourself sometimes. If you truly want to be sober, you will have to fight the toughest parts by yourself.
I want to add also, just because someone comments on your Facebook post “Oh I’m always here for you bby ♥” doesn’t mean they’re actually going to be there for you, or give a shit about you. Don’t get confused about that. If 100 people comment on your post, only about 5-10 of them are serious about giving a crap about your well being. It’s just the way it works.
It was wonderful talking to you all today, and I hope you keep your heads up. Remember, you can always e-mail me on the Contact page if you ever need to vent, or just someone to give you some private advice. ♥
Lots of Love,